Help Me Forget
by Nephrenia Delaterre
Summary: 4x3 not pleasent, rape, angsty.. OOC RR


Disclaimer: Don't own em… wish I did though… would be fun….

Rating: R

Summary: Trowa… reflects

Warnings: Rape

Help Me Forget

It's times like this that I can forget that I mean nothing to him, that I am nothing more then a toy in the hands of a spoiled little rich brat. It's when I have him beneath me writhing and in my control that I can almost think that maybe at some point this could have been something more then pure lust on his part. I know that its never me he's thinking about that its him, the other. But it's times like this that I can forget, when I make him scream words that the others would never guess he knew much less was capable of using. I kiss him roughly pushing him into the mattress hard, I know he'll bruise in the morning and the thought makes me smile even though I know I will be punished for it afterwards. 

They'll never know about this aspect of us, they all think that we are just some happy loving cuddly couple, if only they knew that was what the sadistic fuck below me wanted them to think, usually its me down there. Every time he touches me I want to scream but I still stay, I'm not even sure why. And its easy for me to explain the bruises I mean I am a Gundam pilot but for fucks sake you'd have to be stupid to think that all of my bruises came from Heavyarrms. 

He bites my tongue hard the copper taste running through my mouth snapping me back to reality. I pull back and glance into his eyes before attacking my neck, but apparently I'm not doing a good enough job for the 'master' he flips me and once more I am the slave. His body knows its own rhythm as he enters me with no preparation, no lube, nothing he doesn't care about my comfort only his release. Each thrust makes me cry out in pain and fuels him even more. Seeing the tears come to my eyes is all he needs before he climaxes, releasing his seed inside me and then standing, leaving me on the bed crumpled and bleeding like the whore he views me as. 

He once told me why he had picked me rather then one of the other pilots, it was because I was am nothing, I have no name no past no history, nothing for him to feel regret for destroying. He's left the room now and I force myself to stand, I know that if I'm not cleaned by the time he returns my punishment for earlier will be worse. I move to the shower turning it as hot as I can stand it wincing when I step below the stream of water, my legs almost giving out below me. I wash myself and after drying I return to the room, a secluded one in a corner of one of his mansions. I change the sheets quickly and quietly putting the dirtied ones in the laundry hamper for the servants to deal with. I curl up in the center of the bed allowing one tear to slide down my face and then slide behind my mask of nothing. 

He enters the room with something in his hand I close my eyes until I feel his eyes on me. I open them slowly to find him standing over me something stretched between his hands. I watch him trying to figure out what he's up to, I know it's time for my punishment but I have no idea what he is going to make it, that is until I feel the tip of the riding crop touch my cheek.

He rarely speaks to me anymore except to order commands and this is one of those moments. "Lay flat on your stomach, now." I do as I am told and spread out on the clean bed exposing my still naked back to him. I wince as I feel the sting of the riding crop again and again striking my flesh. I know that I won't be able to sleep tonight and I know that is what he wants. I'm crying now my throat raw from unvoiced screams. When he finishes my back is bleeding and I can barely move. He pulls me up to him crushing my lips in a kiss biting my lip again. I don't taste the blood this time though. 

He takes my hand as he lies back on the bed and leads my hand to his growing erection, I know what he wants it's clear in his eyes. I begin stroking his length slowly and when he growls at me I speed up a bit. He reaches to stop my hand and looks at me. His eyes again sending me a clear order and I comply. I lower my head to the tip and after running my tongue over him teasingly I take him entirely into my mouth sucking and purring into him, while he writhes on the bed below me. 

It's times like this that I can forget that I am nothing but a replacement for someone he can never have. It's times like this that I can almost pretend that I mean something, anything to him. It's times like this that I forget that I am only a whore.

~End~


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